10 reasons you should cancel your London vacation

Going to London was on my bucket list for as long as I can remember. At this point I think I’d rather get an unnecessary colonoscopy. Possibly also a root canal…..at the same time.

Anyway, here they are…

  1. London murder rate is higher than NYC. https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.usatoday.com/amp/480860002
  2. Being “offensive” can get you fined or land you in jail. https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/count-dankula-freedom-of-speech-comedy-joke-iran-offended-a8270631.html
  3. You have to be very careful where you leave your bacon sandwiches. It could get you imprisoned… https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/muslim-hate-crime-bacon-mosque-man-jailed-15-years-michael-wolfe-florida-a8098926.html
  4. And then murdered……
  5. I happen to be severely allergic to “knife crime epidemics”. Maybe you are as well…
  6. Pretty soon you will have to cut your steak with…a spoon, I guess? (I assume forks will be banned next)
  7. Machete attacks every 90 minutes…..
  8. Also if you happen to go to one of the “no go zones” in London, you may be the victim of an acid attack.
  9. Muslim pedophile rape gangs have been operating in the UK for years and are referred to as Asian “grooming gangs” because it sounds more Politically correct……
  10. If you try to report news of this to your fellow citizens you could go to jail….or worse.

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